by Erich Sachs and Kim Brown

When Kim went off to school in Maryland during the summers for several years—and we lived in different states for months each year—we decided it would be a good idea to visit a local law office to draft our wills.

We have joint assets and debt, and it seemed like a good idea in the event that something happened to either of us.

Expect the best, plan for the worst.

One legal survey by Rocket Lawyer found that 80% of Americans between the ages of 35-44 don’t have a will. Crazy, right? A lot of those people have families. They have homes, assets, debt, and spouses and children who will have to navigate huge legal hassles if they die without a will.

A lot of our friends and family don’t have wills. They expect that, “They’ll figure it out.” They who? The people you love most in the world who are devastated to have just lost one of the people they love most in the world (that’s you, my friend)? Don’t make dealing with your shit another issue your grieving family has to deal with. Even with a will, the process can be confusing and time-consuming.

You think you’ve made it clear enough that you want your sister to raise your kids in the event of your untimely demise? What if the mother-in-law who sees them way more and can keep them in the same schools decides she knows better? No will? Legal misery for your loved ones.

You may believe that your family will be civil and figure it out amongst themselves, but without clear wishes, there is a lot of room for anger and resentment (though this can happen even with clear wishes, but there’s nothing you can do about your grandma giving it all to the other grandkids, so we’ll table that issue.)

Climbers (all of us, really) want to get home at night. We try to mitigate risk as much as possible. But wishing for something won’t always make it so.

Making a will isn’t painful. Here’s what it looked like for us:

We went to We The People in Lakewood, Washington, but there are tons of places all over the country that specialize in this sort of work.

The first visit took about an hour and half. They walked us through all of the decisions that we had to make and helped us with some division-of-assets math.

We signed a Community Property Agreement to ensure that all assets would transfer directly to one another if just one of us dies (you’d think this was the way it works anyway, especially in a community property state like Washington, but it’s not! Without it you are still headed to probate court.).

We made living wills, in case one of us is in a medical crisis and our spouse or other family member is doubting what to do (this is where you officially tell your sweetie and your mom when to pull the plug and other grim realities—I still have a hard time with this piece of paper).

A couple of weeks later, we went back to review the documents and sign them. Easy peasy.

There are still a couple of boxes on the living will sheet that I can’t bring myself to check, and we are still not sure how to allocate certain assets, but I know that if Erich survives me, he will not have to fight for what is his. And if Erich goes first, I know exactly what I need to do to take care of myself and our family.

Note: It cost about $400 to have our will written, which is way less than the probate court where you go to hash out estates not covered by wills and Community Property Agreements.

Also: Don’t forget to update your will after major life events—baby, marriage, divorce, etc.!