You will want to do more cool things in this life than you will have time for. You will feel pulled in many different directions and try to fit it all in. This urgency that we all experience as time ticks past is a fear of missing out, or FOMO.

FOMO makes us scattered and unfocused. We give bits of our attention to too many things and try to engage in more areas than is realistically possible. We fool ourselves into thinking that we can do it all.

FOMO disguises itself as many things, as moments that you don’t want to miss, parties with friends and colleagues, trips to new areas, drinks at the bar, and other vaguely alluring opportunities.

Life is short, and we try to cram as much in as possible.

I am a recovering chronic overachiever. For the longest time, I thought I could do it all, But in the last 2 years, I have been recording and observing what I can actually accomplish (primarily at work, but also at home) in a day, in a week, in a month, and in a year. Eventually I started to solidify my daily routine and record how long even my basic daily tasks actually take. I’ve discovered that I was expecting way more from myself than I could possibly do.

And because I couldn’t get to everything, I had to start deciding what was important to me. Did I want to work in the yard or the house? Did I want to do a larger project, or keep up with routine maintenance? Did I want to climb or hang out with the wife? By asking myself these sorts of questions, I have been able to focus my energy in very specific areas of my life that are important to me, rather than trying to squeeze it all in.

Working through these questions was the first time I confronted my own limitations of time, energy, interest, motivation, and other resources for the things I choose to do. Unfortunately, choosing to spend my time doing one thing means that I can’t do something else. Despite my efforts to bend space and time, I still cannot be in two places at the same time.

At first it might be hard to turn down both people and opportunities, but when you suddenly are able to do what you care about most with all of your attention, you will be thankful you found the will to say “no.” You will gain the freedom to pursue the things that are important to you.

We can do anything that we want to do, but we can’t do everything. We have to choose.

For more in-depth discussion about this topic, check out Essentialism by Greg McKeown.